When an era ends, sometimes the heart ends with it. Relationships are a struggle. They are work, they are attention driven and attention seeking. They are indifferent to everything else in our lives, they are their own category. They create their own willpower to exert that energy, care, time and effort to watch that crush turn into a fully bloomed up-kept relationship. But, how do we know when a crush should remain a fling or flourish into a relationship?
I, recently in the past few months, ended an era in my personal life. A fully blossomed, fully engaged relationship, and it got me contemplating the differences and the boundaries of a fling and a relationship. We parted our separate ways as peacefully as possible after the era we had shared, but back when he was just a crush, what if I decided that he should have only stayed a fling. Would I as a woman in love have saved myself from the stress, the disappointment and the heartbreak, or would I have missed out on wonderful memories and experiences I could never forget.
I think the boundaries of a fling vs. the boundaries of a relationship are all determined by your end goal at that time in your mind. If they are, “just cute” or they are, “just a hook up”, are those good enough reasons to risk our hearts and explore a relationship? NO. Men are too confusing and too confident in their abilities to simply explain their feelings and actions, and women are so wrapped up in knowing what is happening and where it is headed that we miss the whole experience of loving and growing something organically.
Organically grown relationships are the recipe for success in your love life recipe book. You plant the seed, the hint that you enjoy his company or like his hair. The seed feels nurtured and cared for and then offers you a bud, his reaction to your kindness and returning his feelings in the best way he knows how. You then, water the budded flower each week it offering you more leaves and stem, and eventually if it is ready and you have provided it enough care it blooms.
Flowers and relationships are one in the same. They may take work, they may cause heartbreak, but not every fling is a fling. Not every fling should be a relationship, but no matter the struggles and the hurt. No matter the hatred and disappointment. Don’t give up on relationships and don’t settle for flings. Just be cautious and pick and choose with your heart and how you feel. We should never be afraid to replant a flower, or rebuild our garden because everyone deserves to have someone– specifically someone that brings you flowers.